A friend recently posted on facebook about making a large (possibly slightly dangerous) purchase and equating it to a "midlife crisis" at the tender age of 43. I have not made any large purchases (unless you consider a web domain a large purchase) but have been questioning my life choices recently.
A few months ago, I left my job of fifteen plus years. I had been unhappy there for some time. I have not been questioning that choice. The last couple of months have had me jumping around trying to figure out what to do. We all need to make money to pay the bills (and to feed the furbabies, in my case).
I made a grandiose post on social media about trying out "world of whiskerbeans" for awhile. I participated in some business classes, trying to get things straightened out with "world of whiskerbeans". At one point my brother told me to "own my shit", which I am still not. My creativity or "want to make" comes in waves. Currently, I am in a dry spell... similar to the great state of West Virginia.
In the meantime, I did some art tutoring this summer (which scared me, but I loved). Made some stuffies. Worked at helping the elderly. Volunteered (which I also loved). Then came a work opportunity that I am still not certain about.
My "profession" is graphic design, but I am questioning that completely. It puts you in a weird headspace when you start to question what you have always done for a living. I start comparing myself to others, thinking, "Why am I doing this? Other people have way better portfolios than me." The world of print takes itself too seriously. Is your world seriously going to end if you do not get that job on time? Most of all, I do not think that I love it.
A friend said to me, "at least it is a job." Is it too much to want something that is more than a job? Something more fulfilling? Something that means something at the end of the day? I am not even sure what that would be anymore...hence my midlife crisis?
People say to do what you love outside of work. I wish it were the other way around.
The solution seems obvious, doesn't it?